Church camp and “coming out”

Yesterday was an adventure.

I have just got back from Vekker church camp at Cuha tábor up in the Bakony Hills. Last year’s camp was awesome and the start of some real changes for me, and I was really looking forward to this year, also hoping I would not be disappointed. The camp lasted from Thursday night till Sunday lunchtime, and I was also preparing to give my testimony in Budapest on Saturday afternoon.

Over the last year God has led me from never ever wanting to talk about my gay past and continuing SSA, to gradually talking to an increasing number of people, starting with my best friend, then my pastor, my church leaders and other brothers and sisters in Christ. God has also been encouraging me to minister to those who are in churches, who experience SSA, but have no one they feel they can open up to.

I was sometimes a little frustrated that things seemed to be moving very slowly. Over the last few weeks, however, events have accelerated somewhat. Through a Hungarian contact from a ministry in England, I found out about a Christian event arranged concurrently with Budapest pride. I wrote to the organisers to encourage them, and they asked me to give my testimony. I met them a fortnight ago, and with God’s prompting, I agreed. So I went to camp knowing that this was in the pipeline. I had a long chat with my pastor on Friday, and asked for an opportunity to tell the church about what I would do; I thought if I am doing this in public, it would be appropriate to at least tell my own church family first.

I did not sleep too well on Friday night, just wanting Saturday to be over and done with. Just before the end of the morning meeting, I was given a chance to give testimony, so I explained why I was going to Budapest, that I was attracted to boys at the age of 14, I was involved in the lifestyle from 19, and how God had reached me, saved me, set me free and filled me with his Spirit. Three church leaders were present so I asked for prayer. They prayed for me, hugged me, told me they love me. They explained to the church that they support this ministry and see the great need for it. I then said I had to leave to get to Budapest in time and got out of there.

The Christian meeting in Budapest, on Vértanúk tere, by Kossuth tér, where the Parliament building is located, was not so well attended as the organisers had hoped. For me the whole thing was liberating. It was an adventure, Christians on one side, pride marchers on the other, lots of police and cordons in between. So I gave my testimony, in the open air, with lots of people listening, about how God had delivered me from the gay life, and how much better it is to walk with Jesus.

On the way back, train and car, I was wondering what sort of reception I would get when I got back to the campsite. I need not have worried. I was greeted with big hugs, and interest in how everything had gone. I ended up just sitting there, after dark, insects chirping, just chilling out and light-heartedly talking about gay pride, SSA, and Christian honesty as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I am amazed at what God is doing. I love my church family, I am overwhelmed by their love and acceptance. I have received so much encouragement, after being so afraid of rejection for so long.

This morning was no different. One point is that I ended up chatting with two really masculine guys who would normally intimidate me. One is well built, muscular, lots of tattoos, kickbox champion, someone I would never even have met if we were not Christians. And we were talking about how my testimony went, about SSA, about how God wants to help those in churches who are struggling, and about how important it was for me to be honest and open about my feelings. Just shows how amazing God is.